Custody Dispute

[Fay Dickson-- AKA doofs]

Chicago, Illinois (AP) –

 

A seven year old boy was at the center of a Chicago courtroom drama 
yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge  initially awarded custody to his aunt, 

in keeping with the child custody law and  regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.

When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning 
that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took 
the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child 
welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Chicago Cubs, whom 
the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.